Reflect on Your Effect


You have heard me talk about reflecting on your actions. You have heard me speak about thinking the effect you have on other people.  This post is about putting the two together.  As we each get better at reflecting on how our own actions and behavior relate to the amount of success of failure we have; we need to move to the more complicated task of reflecting on how we affect others.  Because in the end, that’s what’s important.  It is always good to reflect on what you’ve come to realize or understand about your situation. The complicated part is not just reflecting on yourself for your benefit, but how that benefit may affect or be transferred to someone else.  The hard work is putting action behind that reflection.  Otherwise it is useless.

We live in a very connected world.  So connected in fact, that it is often more difficult to communicate and be the best version of ourselves.  We tend to get so caught up in our jobs, hobbies, activities, sports, and other aspects of life that we focus on improving what is best for us without thinking about how we are affecting others.  This great community we live in can be just that; if we allow it and foster the mutual understandings needed. Perceiving your impact on another person is not about understanding them.  Rather, it is about being self confident of who you are and self aware of your place in the bigger picture.

We all affect others. Whether it is through words actions, successes or failures; we have an impact on those around us.  Personally, I am reminded of the many ways in which my decisions as a father affect my children.  Even more importantly; the actions I take when I am in the role of leader or husband affect my children just as much.  Those who are around us do not differentiate between the roles we are playing, rather they see us as a whole.  My sons do not say that it is okay I did not pay attention to them because I was being a Principal.  They just know that I chose that over them and received a value statement accordingly.

How many times have we:

  •  said something and immediately realized it came out wrong?
  • decided to criticize instead of help?
  • chosen material items over people?
  • not kept our word?
  • not given our word when we could have…or should have?

What makes us choose one over the other and how do we begin to make the positive choice on a consistent basis?  Do we honestly stop to think of how to respond in a positive manner instead of reacting in a way that just makes us feel better?

Success breeds success.  If you work hard on improving yourself and practice the act of affecting others in a positive manner, you will begin to elevate those around you and create a better experience.  Individuals know this.  Everyone wants to be better and those who act on it are drawn to people who are succeeding.  Making decisions like this is not easy.  Doing the right thing is not always popular.    Reflect on your actions, understand what you need, and take action to get there.  How do you find lasting success?  Make sure to take others with you.  What you need to do is hard.  If it wasn’t, everyone would be able to do it.

How do you personally succeed while bringing others with you? Let me know your thoughts…